Saturday, May 14, 2011

High Fives, Knucks and Kisses... a note from Daddy

Lets start back a few months ago… When all of this came to light and Cruz was evaluated, Lindz and I both just looked at each other. We were aware that there were definite red flags and delays, but we weren't sure what was wrong. It took some time for us to process this and accept our family's reality. Following this, Lindz and I had an in-home meeting with the therapist, another representative from First Steps, a representative from Springfield Public Schools, and my in-laws. They have gone above and beyond any and all expectations that I have had. They are really doing what they can to get Cruz set up for success! During our meeting, I told the therapist that as a parent no one ever wants to hear that something is wrong with their child. Every parent wants their children to be perfect. I also shared with her that when Lindz told me the results of his evaluation that the first words out of my mouth were "the lady did not know what she was talking about..." again, this was me not wanting to believe than anything was wrong with my son. After accepting our reality, I did go on to tell her, with tears in my eyes, that we have total confidence in her expertise and that we are very hopeful and appreciative of the help that we are receiving. Looking around the room and seeing everyone present in support of Cruz was all the more evidence of how much we love our little guy. I told her that we also believed in God and that we believed in miracles. As Lindz has mentioned, there are good days and there are bad days. There will always be ups and downs. I just feel blessed to be able to do this thing we call life with my family. At the end of the day, no matter how frustrating we may think it is, I can't help but think of how frustrating it must be for Cruz. This is our prayer... That he would know how much God loves him. That Cruz would know how much we love him. That he would understand that we are doing what we can to help him. That he would be receptive to what his therapist, Lindz and I are teaching him. You get the idea. We know that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. When we are knocked down it is what we do thereafter that makes us stronger. We then have experiences to share with others going through similar situations. Right now, there is chaos all around us... but, somehow there’s also peace. We are so blessed that our son has qualified for the First Steps Program. As Lindsey has mentioned before, a therapist comes out to our home once a week and works with Cruz. Lindz and I continue working with Cruz on everything that she has gone over with us the remainder of the week. This is all so new to us. To be honest, it is my wife who deals with all of this more than I do. I am up around 6 in the morning getting ready for work. As many of you may or may not know, I am the proud owner of a business called Resolution Gear. During the morning, I post a daily “Anniversary of our Fallen” note to RG’s facebook page, some other Tribute Walls, and my twitter accounts. I also have a full time job working for an amazing company called Kanakuk Kamps in Branson, MO. My commute is about 45 minutes each way so I am usually out the door by 15 after 7. Most days Cruz and Wren are still asleep so I do not even get to see them until I am home around 6 that evening. This leaves me with just a couple of hours in the evening with the kids before they are off to bed. My wife is literally with them all day every day. The past few mornings Cruz has woken up just before 7 and we have been able to hang out on the couch for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, he will reach up to give me a high five! I love it! I have thrown in some knucks followed by a kiss. So, high five, knucks, and a kiss (repeat). We got a good laugh when after 4 or 5 times doing this we gave each other a high five, he moved in to kiss my fist and as I started to laugh I caught one of his little punches to my kisser. It has been amazing to see the support that has been shown for us as a family from our extended family and friends. We love and appreciate each and every one of you. From our family to yours, here’s a high five, some knucks and a kiss! Thanks!

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