Four years ago today began an unimagineable journey. After days of labor, miles walked around the halls of L&D, hundreds of lunges and squats, 18 hours of pitocin and finally an emergency csection Cruz Kingston entered the world and changed our lives forever. Even during labor and delivery he kept us guessing, chose to do things his own way, and kept us on our toes. Much like every mom would agree, in four years I have learned so much. In four years and still to this day I have probably only slept through an entire night a handful of times. I often feel more like a zookeeper than anything else trying to contain messes, find my kids swinging from the trees and yes ducking the poop being thrown at me. I have been an interpreter, an advocate, a nutritionist, a quickly schooled in all things 'Special Needs'. I have learned that in addition to all of the first time mom nuances and experiences, I have learned about terms, conditions, therapies, labels, and diagnosis' I had never heard of before...
My heart grew double that day. Not just for my son but for children everywhere. He tapped into this unknown resource of love that literally softened my heart to the world. There have been so many tears of frustration and so many celebrations and praises for improvements and growth. There's no words to describe this complex little guy. As I type this I was just punched in the back and then peed on. He keeps me on my knees in prayer for sure. While we are still learning more and more about him, despite the frustrations, my love for him never changes. Which in turn gives me greater and greater understanding of my my heavenly father's love for me. I am constantly reminded of my flesh, my selfishness, and my faults. I could go on and on and on... on this day I am thankful for grace, for second chances, and forgiveness... from Cruz each time I make 'sad' choices, each time I snap at him, each time I mess up. He is ready to hug. I am so thankful.
