Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The fine line

 I started to write a post last night and really share my heart on some struggles and then the sarcastic side of me just took over as I replayed some of the days events in my head and imagined Cruz's future. To break things down for those that are new... Cruz needs structure. Not just structure, a ton of structure. Plus sensory stimulation and adrenaline. Oh and well constant supervision to keep him off of fences, out of the street, clothed and within view. Ever wonder what it was like for Evil Kneival's mom as he grew up? I can imagine those conversations cause I'm pretty sure they are about the same as the ones in our house. You can't help but watch some of those freaks, sorry, 'people' like that guy that just walked a tight rope over Niagra Falls without wondering what is wrong with them. Really, I glanced over ocassionally out of my periferal vision while it was on tv and listened to comentators discuss his desire for adrenaline. "What would make someone want to do this?" I can't fully answer that question right now but for 5 million dollars I would let you start a home study with Cruz to watch him try the same thing at home. Sure, the top bar across the swings is no Niagra Falls, unless you are 3 feet tall and weight 30 pounds. That's right just got back from the Neurologist, still only 30 pounds. Plus add to that little adventure being naked, which ups the danger factor for anyone. Oh and how about every now and then trying it with eyes closed. No lie. We can even throw the sprinkler underneath for the added effect.
I would like to think that I will be like Michael Phelps mom someday. Sitting in the stands wearing a t-shirt with my child's face on it, cheering him on as he channels all of that wild energy into accomplishing a life long goal. I could go ahead and wear the shirt now and cheer on the side but it would probably scar him for life. Mrs. Phelps would cry after each swim and during each interview recalling how her son had issues similar to Autism and overcame all odds. I watch the men's gymnastics team and listened to the crowd cheer at their amazing ability to commit to running jumping and throwing their body throught the air to land without breaking a bone. Sure its amazing but let me remind you they are trained and on a spring board floor. How about trying it barefoot on gravel, and of course naked. I watch them attempt the pommel horse and laugh imagining how that event first started. Most of these things had to have been dares between friends. Its easy to imagine the origin of swimming and track races. That concept doesn't really twist your mine. But the pommel horse? That's a different story. I imagine two men long ago, pick a century it probably doesn't even matter, standing by their horses. 'Watch this. I can mount my horse, hold both sides of the saddle and spin around on my hands.' 'Oh yeah, I can do a handstand on the saddle and then flip off.' Before you know it a crowd has gathered and their wives roll their eyes. I can probably google it and set my mind at ease but its way more fun to imagine. Or maybe it was two dudes and a barbed wire fence. 'Bet you can't hold these two fence posts and spin as fast as you can without shredding your legs and bleeding to death.' 'Challenge accepted'. All I know is that Cruz would have been one of those two guys. Here, maybe if I stack trucks, sticks, rocks, and a book like the leaning tower of pisa I can climb on it, balance on one foot, and then in an act of complete defiance rip off my diaper and throw it at my mom just like the true animal I am. He is already setting himself up pretty nicely for the high bar, parallel bar, uneven bars and our shins can attest to that. If you come by our house, don't prop your feet up on anything unless you are prepared for a small fast moving blur to run at you and flip over your leg and give it a good Indian burn.
"Oh wow, Lindsey are you anemic?" "Oh no, the bruises are from my son, thanks."
There is that fine line between daring and stupid. You watch those youtube videos and cringe when you watch teens attempt really dumb things like jumping off of a roof, skating behind a car, etc. I used to roll my eyes at those videos and laugh. Now its like looking at a crystal ball and I cringe. Yes, yes, he's still so young surely he will out grow some of these crazy things. I'm sure that's what Evil Kneival's mom said, and David Blaine's, and probably Mrs. Wallenda. I probably should've googled first to see if she was a member of the act. 'Yes, don't worry Mrs. Kneival, he's just a toddler. This is just a phase. He can't have the desire for speed and adrenaline forever' Don't you think Mrs. Blaine's mom wondered when would lock him self in a shoe box and try to break out of it at age 2? I don't have to wonder because Cruz did that yesterday. Yep, found a tupperware storage container and hid in it for thirty minutes trying to lock the lid on top. If you decide to sit on the floor in our home for any reason, you must be prepared for this one because it will catch you off guard. Cruz will suddenly climb up your back and try to stand on your head and balance, like a totem pole. I wonder how early they accept applicants at Cirque du Soleil. I hope we can harness this and send him to the Olympics in 2028 on the gymnastics team or the swimming team. Of course he may be better fitted for the winter Olympics. The luge seems right up his alley. He is more of a one man team after all and he would like the deep pressure of the suit. We will probably try it this winter down our street if we get a good snow. "Here son, let me pour this EVOO all over you and push you down the hill, just keep your head down." I wonder how that one originated. Probably was an accident when Mr. Luge was working under his carriage in the winter. Oil spilled all over him and he shot like a rocket down a hill and around the village. Everyone gathered to watch. His wife probably was standing there ready to remind him what a loser he was when the crowd erupted in applause and cheering and other men formed a line to try it. Like I said, there is a fine line between daring and stupid. Sure he's cute now when you see those little naked cakes running down the street with a helmet on, bent on speed and destruction, hopping chain link fences and banging on your front door asking for candy and gum. In thirty years you would call the police and lock your doors.... stay tuned for the next adventure. Tomorrow is the 4th of July... this will be interesting.

This is a disclaimer. We love the Olympics and are of course amazing by the talent yet we are not sponsored by them to mention them in our blog and have no intent of using their names, images, and logos for monetary gain. Especially since we have 120 people regularly tuning in from other countries around the world. This is purely a sarcastic attempt to process through daily drama and laugh instead of cry.