Monday, February 27, 2012

Big Picture, Little Picture

As we've previously talked about, I am totally one of those people that takes an idea and runs with it. I am a total dreamer and visionary. I tend to overlook some of the day to day details because I am dreaming up a huge project, or a vacation, or planning an event. There are definite benefits to being always focused on the big picture. I try to take the little things in stride and not let small things bother me (note I said try). I am always looking ahead which means I am setting goals and hopefully following through with them. There are of course many downfalls as well. I tend to get so focused on things that are months away that I can become very overwhelmed. Occasionally it takes a giant reminder from the Lord to slow down. Like, for example, my back locking on me. I am on day five of extreme pain and limited mobility. I don't know if its because of the fibromyalgia or what but it happens about every month or two. This time I had both kids with me at the studio with a group of toddlers. Fortunately I had another teacher there who has watched the kids before. She was available to help take me to the chiropractor and watch the kids at home. It was incredibly frustrating to be stuck at home and not able to do anything. I had someone helping with the kids and it would've been the perfect time to do laundry, clean, clean out paperwork, do anything at all. Instead I was forced to just stand (sitting and laying hurt too much). The kids cry and don't understand why I can't pick them up or why they can't jump on me. Jason has to do double the duty and I feel like I am putting everyone out. Its very frustrating. It also forces me to rest, physically. I try to rest mentally but my wheels just keep turning. Each time my back locks I just remind myself its like a forced time out. As if God is like, ok, you're over doing it you need to just stop and be still for awhile and quit focusing on all of the big things. It reminded me of a story that occurred when we were in Denver for Remembering The Brave in September. We took the kids to the Zoo, which was amazing. The kids absolutely loved it. Towards the end of our visit there, we approached the elephants. The children were finishing up the popcorn we had bought them and were accidentally spilling it on the ground. 
They were fighting over the drinks and so focused on the snacks they didn't even notice the giant elephants coming right over to us. A couple of little birds hopped along the ground searching for popcorn pieces and the kids were fascinated. Cruz and Wren chased the little birds all around seemingly unaware of the enormous animals looming close by.
 We kept telling them to look up but they were in their own little worlds.

 Wren kept throwing pieces of popcorn trying to lure the little birds.
After like fifteen minutes of persuasion they finally caught glimpses of the elephants. That evening we attended the Remembering The Brave Ceremony to honor the fallen. We sat at a table with two amazing families who's sons had both paid the ultimate sacrifice. As I told them of the experiences that day I shared how silly it was that they were so caught up in the little tiny seemingly insignificant things that they were missing the big picture. One of the mom's flipped the scenario around for me. "I think its nice, some people are so caught up in the big picture that they don't stop to enjoy the small things." It stopped me instantly. It's very true. So, here I sit at the computer with my back locked up not able to move my head side to side being forced to just sit with the kids and not try to accomplish anything. Actually, in all honesty I did try to do some laundry this morning. It took me about three times as long and I think I've actually made my back much worse. Sometimes it is so hard to force yourself to slow down. Once again, I'm learning lessons from my kids whether I want to or not.

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